Mad Days of a Mother

Who's The Biggest Twat?

2010-08-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Who’s The Biggest Twat?

To set the scene, I did the supermarket shopping on Sunday and got, amongst other things, a large pack of chicken breasts. The pack was big enough for several meals. It was OH’s job to put the shopping away.

Conversation on Monday tea time went like this………………

Me “I bet you didn’t separate that chicken before you put it in the freezer did you, just like you never remember?!! I will end up having to defrost the whole lot, as usual!!!! “OH has a very smug look on his face and says…”I left it in the fridge down the cellar cos there wasn’t any room in the freezer.” Me….” Well thanks for telling me, so I know it needs cooking in the next day or two!” Please note that I had 2 witnesses to this conversation and OH does not deny it took place either.

I get home this evening and enquire to the whereabouts of my son. OH tells me he is out with my mum. I ask if he will be home for tea and OH informs me that he never thought to ask…….Jeeze!! After several phone calls I find out Keir is having tea with his Grandma. Ok………….So we can have chicken salad and I am in time to put the rest in the freezer.

Now I have figured it is the 2 of us eating this evening, OH asks me what we are having because “I never asked him to get anything out of the freezer.” “Well no” says I, “that’s because we have a load of chicken in the fridge.” I could see that OH was giving this some thought. I could hear movement from the brain area, cogs turning from behind his eyes and plumes of smoking coming out of his ears. I knew something was afoot!! “Ah!” says OH. “The chicken is in the freezer.” I am now working all this threw in my head. I distinctly remember the conversation that took place the day before. Given what I do for a living, I am VERY good at remembering what has been said, who said it, where and when!! “Why did you put it in the freezer this morning when you knew nothing else was out for tea? OH then informs me that he actually put it in the freezer the day it was bought!!! I did refer him to the previous day’s conversation, which as noted was not contested!!

Are you following this?? No??? I am a little bemused myself. Having said that, this is the norm for my household!!! I have conversations such as these on a daily basis! I can honestly say that I am astounded that he can actually remember his own name every morning!!! Needless to say – The chicken is in the freezer, un separated, and I have had fish & Chips for tea!!!

I have to note at this point that OH is not happy that I am no longer the size 10 I used to be. Why is that I wonder?? It couldn’t be because I am eating greasy high calorie content fish & chips, instead of the planned, healthy, low calorie warm chicken salad?!!!!!

I sit back and wonder why the hell I ever agreed to live with this man?? Particularly when past experiences told me a long time ago that all men are TWATS!!! – present company is exempt from that remark!! I then have to ask myself why I have continued to live with this fuck wit man for 16 years!!!! Surely this makes me a bigger TWAT than he is!!!!

Note – I do not require an answer to that last question.

How many things can go wrong???

2009-11-12T12:53:00.001-08:00

This weeks been mad!!! mad mad mad.

My life seems to be a constant mad rush with dropping off and picking up of dearest daughter, cleaning, baby minding and all the household DIY too. Im exhausted!! My weekend was non stop with Sophie, she had a hockey match on Saturday morning which hubby dropped her off at 7.30am at the bus stop and I picked her up at 1pm from. Then she had to be run straight to ballet practice. Sunday I had to pack up bubs at the break of dawn and drop her to a handball match in Ayr, then come home and bath baby and myself and then all the washing ironing and housework, then to rush up to mum and dads for sunday dinner. Phew. Im tired just typing it and that was only the weekend.

Monday Sophie had hockey practice after school, that was after my doctors appointment which meant i had a screaming hungry baby with me and had to bundle him into the car and wait in the pouring rain for her to finish. Tuesday Hubby had the day off. Which started off with the kitchen pipes bursting and him being under the units trying to paste them back together again. Then we went out for a nice lunch with bubs and a look round a great garden centre near by. Caleb had a ball chattin up all the old ladies. Only down side was i satrted to feel a bit dodgy while we were out.

Wednesday was another hugely busy day. we ran to Ayr to pick up Hubbys new shirts for work and while we were there, I started to feel worse and worse. By the end of the trip I was crippled in pain. I phoned the doctors and got an appointment. We rushed home and I went off to the docs. After the doctor poking a prodding my stomach for a while which was excrutiating he found a mass in my side. He thinks its either Kidney stones or the beginings of appendix problems. Great. I have tests upon tests to go through over the next few days and I hate tests. ugh!!!!

Anyway, i'm hoping the next few days will be a bit calmer!! oh, apart from the fact the pipe in the kitchen haas burst again and I have to wait in for a plumber tomorrow which i could do without!!

nearly a whole year! how???

2009-11-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

I just had the realisation today that my lovely boy is nearly a year old! In exactly 16 days time to be exact.

Here he was on saturday dressed up for halloween and it made me think back to last halloween and how excited i was that in ten days time my little man would be here with us. Being a typical man it was 20 days and forced out at that. Now nearly a year on he's dressed up and joining in. His sister loved him in his spider suit and he had such fun playing with his spare 6 legs all day. haha.

Why does it make me sad that time goes past so quickly when they're young. Sophie has grown up so fast its scary and I sometimes feel like as mums we are so busy we miss so much. I just love the baby stage and they arent at it for long. Caleb is sooo cute just now though and Im loving every minute of his development too. Today he put his feet down for the first time ever and bore weight on them alone. Hes slow but he gets there.

Well, fireworks night soon and that time last year i stood on our backdoorstep while Ewan took Sophie to the display a few minutes walk away. I saw the fireworks from there and thought in 4 days time I'd have a baby. This year I'll wrap him up and we'll stand on the back step together and watch it. Boy this had been one of the quickest and best years of motherhood a girl could wish for.

Wheres the time gone????

2009-10-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

goodness! i havent blogged for ages! I just cant seem to find the time.
What have i been up to???
Well its been like a TB ward here with all the illness! FIrstly Caleb took flu a few weeks back and was extremely ill. he had a temp of 40 and was taken to hospital on the sunday of the4 weekend it started, where he saw sleezy useless doctor who sent us home with not much more than the feeling he wasnt that interested!!! Mummy ended up just having to look after him to the best of my ability. By monday sophie had taken it too and i was attending to two invalids. Thursda, came and guess what......... yes you guessed it, it hit me too and i was floored!! The kids recovered a week later but not me... it took 3 weeks and also lead to a bacterial lung infection which wasnt that nice either. Being a woman I'd been battling on and I dont think that helped. Anyways, two weeks after I got better Hubby came home wiht a terrible cold and throat infection. Being a man he did nothing about it and it has just gradually gotten worse. Last week he did 15 hour night shifts at work and came home to stay in bed all day. Then at the weekend there he spent all the time in bed with no voice and no energy! I eventually persauded him yesterday after two weeks to get an antibiotic which he started last night. Hopefully it'll sort it out as I dont think I can stand it any more. Well I just live in hope that's the end of the illnesses for a short while. Im just so glad so far the bubs has managed to avoid this virus.
On the plus side the schools went back from half term today and I have heaved a sigh of relief. I love life when its just a normal day. School holidays throw my routine off and personally I think it wouldnt do them any harm to learn 365 days a year. haha.

Isnt it funny!

2009-09-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

Isn't if funny the things that make us smile? Today a few things managed to do it at times when I didnt feel much like smiling!!

I was rudely awoken today at 6.30am by the little monster! The big monsters alarm had gone off too early and woken him up. So the day started off on a wrong foot for me right off!!! (I'm a girl who likes her sleep) So anyway anyway, we got up and got dressed and came down for brekkie. Caleb had his and then i set about making a packed lunch for Sophie and a bacon roll for her brekkie. Then came my first reason to smile............ she hugged me and said thank you!!!??????? Aliens must have swooped down overnight and swapped my pre-teenie!!!!!!

Once sophie left for school and hubby was sleeping due to nightshift last night, the little chap and I went for a walk to the beach as it was lovely day. That was the second thing that made me smile. The sun was shining and there was a cold breeze but it was fresh and it made me happy. Caleb had a lovely sleep in his pram and I smiled that my boy was happy too.

When we got home we had some lunch and caleb sat on his mat and had a play. He wa concentrating so hard and having such fun that instead of doing the ironing I just sat for a whole hour and watched him. He really is such content little boy. His concentration and lovely noises he made were the next thing to make me smile today. He laughed and chatted with himself for ages. That kind of thing just makes life good!

Eventually I got round to some serious housework which soon wiped the smile off my face and while I was cleaning Hubby eventually got up and joined us downstairs. He helped by running some errands for me and when he got back he entertained Caleb for me for a while. I went to start our dinner and when I came through, the two of them were camped out on the couch with the laptop and while hubby was typing Caleb was helping. This made me smile again!!I had to capture it as it reminds me A/ why I love being a mum and B/ why despite everything I really love my husband. He has the patience of a saint with the kids and enjoys moments like this as much as I enjoy watching them together!

This my friends is why I think its funny that the little things in life make us smile. A father spending time with his children, a sunny walk with a sleeping baby, or a child happpily playing alone oblivious to the trial of life. Maybe we should all remember these such things when life gets so bad it makes us frown!!

What made you smile today??????

Another Milestone.... no matter how small!!

2009-09-08T11:44:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or do all us doting mothers ohhhh and ahhhhh at every miracle our little ones perform no matter how tiny? Is it because we worry they aren't reaching them when they should?

Today my 9 month old baby son, Caleb, sat up unaided in the shopping trolley at the supermarket! Now, this may sound like the smallest milestone ever captured on camera but to me its a goodie! So far the little chaps development has been quite slow compared to his sister , and as a born worrier I sometimes do stress too much !! At 3 months Sophie was rolling on to her tummy, Caleb it took until 8 months. At 6 months Sophie could sit unaided, Caleb it was 8 months with a bit of a wobble still ( he's still happiest lying on the floor playing on his playgym). By 9 months sophie crawled and also stood holding onto furniture, Caleb, not even close yet. He doesnt even weight bear on his legs with help. So everytime he does something on his own no matter how small i breathe a sigh of relief that he's developing normally! Sometimes I think he's really just lazy and likes being treated like a tiny baby! I also have another theory that when you have a baby with a fairly big age gap to its siblings it almost like they have an extra parent to do everything for them, and my little one in particular is happy to let us. So why do I worry?

I worry I should try to push him more, but Im so enjoying every day of him being small so I must just learn to relax I think. He seems a very content happy little boy so again, why worry?I ask myself this everyday!!

I was born to worry I think. I worried when it seemed to take a very long time to fall pregnant with him, as I had been told by a specialist that there were complications and not to be too dissapointed if I couldn't. Then I worried everyday that I'd miscarry due to my blood type, so much so the doctors had me scanned every month to make sure all was well. I worried everyday that I'd have a boy, and when i found out at 20 weeks that I was I was hysterically carted out the hospital by my long suffering husband. Next I worried everyday I'd go into premature labour as I had signs around 23 weeks. Finally, when I caught an infection at 30 weeks that may cause problems for the baby in its first 6 months of life, i cried myself to sleep every night until he finally arrived!! I am ridiculous!! Firstly I did fall pregnant, carry to term and give birth to a fabulous little boy who is perfect, healthy and happier every day!

In conclusion, maybe making a huge deal of every milestone, no matter how small, is something I will continue to do to remind myself that I am luckier than I could possibly imagine to have two such happy and healthy children....................................... AND STOP WORRYING SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Motherly Regrets

2009-09-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

I am still a fairly newish mother. We adopted our children last year and have been parents now for 16 months. Little Miss is now 5 and Little Man is now 3 (I don't use their real names online due to the need to keep their identity safe). There are things I get right and things I get wrong. Most of the time it feels like I'm getting it wrong yet I know that's not true.

Depression affects my outlook on life in general and also the impression I have on my own parenting skills. So I have regrets; some of which I'm too embarrassed to type even on here so I will tell you some of them.

I regret:

that smack (we agreed not to smack our children)
telling one off when I didn't have the whole story
stopping one from going to a party due to behaviour
constantly crying in front of them
once saying why did we adopt you (how vile is that?)
shouting over something small (though it did build up from lots of little things)
telling Daddy things he didn't need to know thus getting him wound up too

There are more, many more, and more that you could add to the list, I'm sure.

To show the flip side, I also have proud mummy moments, too.

I'm proud of:

Little Miss admitting she misses her birth parents
Little Man learning how to dress himself
Little Miss confiding how unhappy she was in her old school (we moved her after that)
Little Man recognising number 1-10
Little Miss learning to read
Little Man learning how to scoot his scooter
Little Miss learning to tie her hair up
Little Man coping with his visual impairment, patches, eye tests, etc
Little Miss enjoying school
Little Man loving playgroup

As down as I get, I know I have a lot to do with the achievements made by Little Miss and Little Man (oh and hubby too). I'm glad I've typed all this as I can come back to it when feeling like a naff mother again.

What regrets do you have? Please add your comments, but don't forget to add a positive proud mummy moment too to balance it out.

pre-teenies

2009-09-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or do kiddies grow up a lot faster these days? Take my daughter Sophie for instance!! Shes 12 years old in 23 days time and she dresses, looks and acts 21! This has all started in the last two weeks since she started secondary school!

Take today as an example...... She went out to school as normal in the tank top, shorts (against my better judgement) with the standard shirt and loose tie combo, looking as near to pristine as Sophie ever looks! She bounced out the door with hockey bag and packed lunch accompanying her! At 10am she texted me to say she'd lost her trainers and therefore couldn't attend hockey without a pair. At this being the kind of mother I am. I shot to JJB sports 10 miles away with my 9 month old in tow and maxed out my credit card on some Nike shocks for her. At 3.30pm I sat at the hockey changing rooms with said trainers and a new training jacket for her in case of rain!! Across the playing fields came all the little worker ants in their Rugby and hockey gear and in amongst them comes Sophie in the shortest skirt I've ever seen, a purple vest top and a face full of make up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bear in mind shes not even 12 yet!!! Needless to say i was speechless as she rolls into the car.
' hey mum, wheres my shoes?'
' eh, hi Sophie. what's with the outfit?'
' erm', red face and looks shifty!!
Hands her the shoes at which point she opens the door and gets out.
'Rite mum, I'll be late i have to go'
' no thank you mum they're great?'
Hand goes on hip and with that ' eh I don't think so!', and with that she was off!!!!
At this point I think, do I embarrass myself by sprinting out the car and grabbing her? Or do I cry? Orrrr do I go home and rant to my poor husband, Sophie's stepfather who is demented with this regularly too?
Needless to say the latter was my solution!!!!! Poor Ewan!

After a long discussion we decided that we are fighting a loosing battle with this girl, and we don't want to push her too far away, as this age is a difficult one for girls and we want her to feel we can talk about things without being too unreasonable!

At 5 pm she came in the door just as Ewan passed her on the doorstep on his way to work. I got the full joy of trying to go over, A. her attitude and general expectation that everything just appears out of thin air that she needs and, B. her choice of dress for school in 1st year is totally unacceptable and will not be happening or she will be grounded for the next 5 years of high school!!! All non uniform types of clothing which she sneaks out are now in my custody and will stay that way. Surprisingly she was quite accepting and handed over the vest tops and skirt without too much disagreement. She also hugged me and said thank you for her shoes and top and really she does appreciate everything we do for her and sorry for being a brat! Is this the end of this issue with her?????? Will we be having the same conversation next month, year??I wait with baited breath! I have a feeling not. Ugh!

I hope this is not just my pre-teenie's way???? Please tell me it gets better!!!!

Growing up

2009-09-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

My name is Jennie and I have an 11 year old son, Keir. He is basically a good kid - never in trouble at school and always makes me proud when out in public. He is very loving and generous to a fault. He is a very gentle child, except when practicing his wrestling moves on me! He is fun to be with. He enjoys playing football, building Lego, playing his electric guitar and his Xbox. This does not mean he is perfect! We have arguments every morning when I try to get him to eat breakfast, arguments about getting dressed, having a bath, cleaning his teeth, getting ready for bed, coming off his Xbox etc etc. In short a normal kid.

I have now started to worry about my child; mainly for two reasons -

Reason 1
As I have said, Keir is 11. He still has some of his baby looks; blues eyes and blond hair, ruby cheeks and a cheeky smile. At the moment he reaches my shoulder in height, still holds my hand and asks for cuddles and kisses.

The summer holidays are over and Keir started Upper school on Thursday 3rd September 2009. This started to ring a few alarm bells in me!!!

We have lived on the same street for over 9 years. During that time I have watched the neighbourhood's children grow. It has always amazed me that during their last summer holidays, before they start upper school, they all look like kids. Within 6 months of starting upper school all the girls wear belts instead of skirts, are plastered with make-up and all look about 16. The boys on the other hand all seem to stretch and become 6 foot tall men!!! - While visiting his new school for an induction evening I did have a look round for the rack but guessed it was in some secret locked room!!!

It was at this point I began to realise that it would not be long before I became a little mum; and I'm not that little! It would not be long before I loose my adoring child; my best friend. In short he is growing up - which leads me on to the second reason......

Footnote - Although I have previously said I am mother to one 11 year old boy I do not feel that is not strictly true! I have a partner, Wayne. He will be 43 shortly, so you would think he was quite mature. Not so! He may have lived for almost 43 years but his mental age is about on Parr with my 11 year old son!! So you must forgive me for pausing when asked how many children I have, as there are many times would I would dearly love to answer - 2!!

A bit more background
Many many years ago I decided I wanted children. After 3 miscarriage and a family history I won't go into, I was told my chances were very unlikely! We decided to try anyway. 6 months later I fell pregnant. It was a joyous moment for us both. I was told by many that being pregnant would be the best time of my life. I would feel great and look great - Yeah, Right!!! I won't bore you but I hated every minute. It seemed I ceased to exists as a person and became a baby carrier. I found that women, particularly over 50; who didn't even know me, would walk up and touch my tummy - Nooooooooo....this is an invasion of my personal space!!! Since when did being pregnant give total strangers the right to manhandle me!! I became huge - and I do mean huge! He had a habit of laying so he trapped nerves and his head engaged quite early. My pelvic muscles ripped, which caused great pain when walking. I remember laying in the bath one night and he decided to turn round. Hubby said I looked like I had an alien in my tummy - which gave me nightmares for quite a few weeks. The day finally came and Keir was born 8.45p.m 8 May 1998. He was so gorgeous. I can't put it into words how it felt to hold him for the first time!

At the time Keir was born Wayne was working very long hours and not often home much before midnight. This didn't matter too much as I was on maternity leave. It wasn't until Keir was about 2 that Wayne started working in an office and doing more normal hours, although still long hours. So, it has mainly been me and Keir. Since February, Wayne has chosen to work evenings. He is just leaving the house as I am coming home from work. a few days of the week my mum looks after Keir, so I can work longer hours. I feel like I am living as a single mother - I get up, go to work, come home and look after Keir. I am tied to either work or him and have no social life what so ever - in other words, a typical mum!!!

Over the years I have watched Keir grow and mature. We have loved each other and at times hated each other! We have survived weening, teething and the night terrors. Potty training seemed to take for ever! I cried when he had to have his first injection and I cried the first time he told me he hated me. We have done the trips to hospital to sort out his ear infections and his eyesight. We have done the trips to the dentist to sort his teeth. I have cuddled him when he was not well, hurt or unhappy. He has given me cuddles me when I have needed them. I have watched him take his first steps, say his first words, be presented with football trophies, pass his first guitar exam and sit his first major SATS and as already told; I have watched him set off for his very first day at upper school. Keir is my joy. He brings love, comfort and purpose to my life. In fact, he is my life!!!!! - Yes we are very close. This bring me to my second reason for great worry.......

Welcome

2009-08-16T14:11:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the world of three mad mummies. This is a privileged role: a job you don't apply for. A role that leaves you completely frazzled, exhausted, craving a glass of win, share size bag of Doritos and chocolate.
Enjoy!